Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A blonde was driving down the Freeway when her Mobile phone rang. It was her husband warning her:

“Darling”, he said, “I just heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way down the Freeway. Please be careful!”

“Its not just one car”, cried the blonde, “There’s hundreds of them!”

A daddy mommy and baby mole are in their hole relaxing one morning when daddy mole sticks his head out of the hole and says, “I smell pancakes”.

Mommy mole sticks her head out the tiny hole and says, “I smell pancakes too…pancakes with maple syrup!! Baby mole come smell the pancakes with maple syrup”.

Baby mole sticks his head upwards to get to the hole and exclaims “I cant smell anything but moleasses?!”

A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, “Here’s to 51 days!” and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to “line ‘em up”, and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks.

The bartender says, “I don’t get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?”

One of the blondes explains, “We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box ’2-4 years,’ but we finished it in 51 days!”

Why was the tomato blushing? Becuase it saw the slad dressing

This is a little story about four people named
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and
Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job.
Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when
Nobody did what Anybody could have done.