Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.

He inquisitively asked the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?”

She replied, “I’m having a baby.”

With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?”

She answered, “He sure is.”

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?”

She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.”

With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked, “Then why did you eat him?”

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.

A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read “Unique Breakfast” so he walked in and sat down.

The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted. “What’s your Unique Breakfast?” he asked inquisitively. “Baked tongue of chicken!” she proudly replied.

“Baked tongue of chicken?… baked tongue of chicken! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken’s mouth!” he fumed.

Undaunted, the waitress asked, “What would you like then?” “Just bring me some scrambled eggs,” the man replied.

A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it.

Mom said, ‘Sure, sweetie. I’ll send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?’

‘Uh, oh yeah, OK,’ responded the kid.

So Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book.

When she gets back, Dad asked, ‘Well how much did you give the boy this time?

Mom said, ‘Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for $20, and the other for $1000′

‘That’s $1020!!!’ yelled Dad, ‘Are you crazy???’

‘Don’t worry hon,’ Mom said, as she kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, ‘I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in Chapter 19!’

A daddy mommy and baby mole are in their hole relaxing one morning when daddy mole sticks his head out of the hole and says, “I smell pancakes”.

Mommy mole sticks her head out the tiny hole and says, “I smell pancakes too…pancakes with maple syrup!! Baby mole come smell the pancakes with maple syrup”.

Baby mole sticks his head upwards to get to the hole and exclaims “I cant smell anything but moleasses”