Daily Joke: Jokes Library

The two inventors of the bungee rope went to Spain to test their invention. They built a 50-foot tower and, once completed, one of the guys stood on the edge of the platform and dove into the air with the rope tied to his feet.

The other guy, standing up on the platform, waited until his friend returned up so that he could grab him. The first time his friend sprung up, he tried to grab him but missed and noticed that his head was swollen. The next time, he missed again and again there was a bruise on his head and face.

This time, with much concern, he dove forward to get his partner, pulled him in and asked, “What happened? Is the cord too long?”

His partner replied with his face all bloody, “What is piñata?”

For a couple years I ‘ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I’m tired because I’m overworked.

The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you’re sitting at your computer reading jokes.

“Look, Charlie,” the coach said, “you know the principles of good sportsmanship. You know the Little League doesn’t allow temper tantrums, shouting at the umpire, or abusive language.

“Yes sir, I understand.”

“Good, Charlie. Now, would you explain that to your father?”

A woman asking people questions for her company’s survey walked up to a man and asked if he would be willing to participate. He said, “Sure”.

She asked him to name something expensive that he wished he had never bought.

The man answered, “My wedding ring.”

A famous doctor was being interviewed by the news media. Looking to spice things up a little, one reporter asked if the doctor had ever made any serious mistakes.

“Well, yes,” the doctor sighed. “I once cured a multimillionaire.”

“How was that a mistake? The reporter asked.

The doctor shook his head wearily. “I did it in one visit!”