Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Gracie was driving down the road in her pickup truck when she spotted a blonde sitting in a canoe in the middle a corn field. She slammed on her brakes and swerved into the corn field.

Pulling up beside the blonde, she rolled down her window and shouted, “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!?”

The blonde in the canoe looked at her, confused and said, “Well, I’m just out enjoying the sun in my canoe.”

Gracie was fuming. She yelled back, “Why are you out in the middle of the cornfield!?!”

“Well, it seemed like a great day to be in the wide open,” the blonde replied.

“You know,” Gracie said, “It’s blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your butt!”

“An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it.

 Can you give me an example of one?”

“Sure,” a teenage boy replied. “My father’s new car.”

The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes.

He replied “It’s easy” and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top. He told his boss, I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chips and dip to draw in the customers.

He laid out his chips and dip. His boss said, “That’s a very innovative approach” and took one of the chips, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth. “Yuck, this tastes terrible!” his boss yelled.

The salesman replied “IT IS! Want to buy a toothbrush?”

This man was talking to himself. “I wish I could meet some really important people before I die….”

A man walked up to him and said, “Hi, my name is Mike and I overheard you. I can help you because I know everybody on the planet who is alive today.”

“No way, you must be pulling my leg. Let’s go to Jane Hull so you can prove it to me,” said the man.

So they go to Jane Hull’s office, and when she notices Mike, they start to talk about how they were in kindergarten together.

“Okay, it could have been a coincidence that you were in kindergarten together. Let’s go talk to the president!” said the man. So they took a jet to the White House where the President was having a press conference. When the President saw Mike, they started to talk about how they were in band together.

“Okay for your last test, let’s go to the Pope!” said the man. So they took a jet to Rome and when they got there they went to a church were the Pope was giving a sermon. After the sermon, Mike walked up to the Pope and they shook hands and started to talk.

When Mike walked back over to the man, the man said, “You know, I had a hard time believing you even after the Pope until a guy came up to me and said, “Hey who is that standing next to Mike?!”

a blonde and ger girlfriend were talking, when the girlfriend mentioned to her blonde friend that xmas falls on friday this year, the blonde responds wow, i hope its not on the 13th. !