Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn.

The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, “Hey Willis forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I’ll help you get the wagon up later.”

“That’s mighty nice of you,” Willis answered, “but I don’t think Pa would like me to.”

“Aw come on boy,” the farmer insisted.

“Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added, “but Pa won’t like it.”

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset.”

“Don’t be foolish!” the neighbor said with a smile. “By the way, where is he?”

“Under the wagon.”

There were three men on a hill with their watches. The first man threw his watch down the hill and it broke. The second man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.

The third man threw his watch down the hill, walked all the way to the bottom, and caught it. The other two men were puzzled and asked the third man how he did it.

The third man said, “Easy. My watch is 5 minutes slow.”

My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it.

“Oh,” said My Dad, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet.”

“How come?” I asked.

“Well,” he answered, “because with a clarinet, she can’t sing.”

Whenever I see a woman driving a bus I smile and think about how far we, as a society, have come in equality.

And then I wait for the next bus.

Death comes to take a lawyer away.

The lawyer cries and pleads, “Why so early? I am only forty!”

Death replies, “Not according to the hours you billed.”