Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A guy went fishing with his friend and had to ask, “Where is that new rod and reel you had the last time we went fishing? I can’t help but notice that you’re using a stick a string and a safety pin for a hook.”

His friend replied, “My wife thinks I’m wasting money so I told her I’d take the new rod and reel back if I didn’t catch a fish… any more questions?”

“Yes, why didn’t you go to the market and buy a fish to take home? If you remember that’s what I did last year so I could keep my fishing gear.”

His friend answered, “I did, but I forgot to take it out of the package!”

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display.

“Well, I have good news and bad news,” the owner responded. “The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

“The gentleman was your doctor.”

Hearing his wife as she sings, the husband says, “You know dear, when you sing like that I just wish you were on the radio.”

The wife smiles and replies, “Wow honey, you think I am that good?”

“No, but at least that way I can change the station or turn it off.”

Father: What do you see in that boyfriend of yours?

Teen daughter: Well… he’s reliable.

Father: He’s always late picking you up!

Teen daughter: I know and I can always count on it. Remember when you had to sit in the front room with my dates until I was ready?

Father: Now that you mention it, I’m beginning to like this guy!

Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver’s license.

“Will there be any change of address?” the clerk inquired.

“No,” I replied.

“Oh, good,” she said, clearly delighted. “You got the house.”