Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A man went in to a restaurant and ordered alphabet soup. The man’s alphabet soup was in front of him when a bee went inside.

The man cried out, “Waiter, Waiter, there’s a bee in my alphabet soup!”

The waiter said, “Yes, sir, and I believe all the other letters are there too.”

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered, with his thumb over the meat.

“Are you crazy?” yells the customer. “What’s with your hand on my steak?”

“Sorry,” answers the waiter, “I don’t want it to fall on the floor again.”

Joan invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” Joan answered.

The girl thought for a minute, then bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

Two women are standing in line to pay their bill at a restaurant. As soon as it’s their turn, they hand the young waitress a credit card.

After swiping the card, she loudly called out to her manager, “Mr. Andrews, what do I do if it says ‘rejected’?”

As the women’s faces reddened and customers turned to look, Mr. Andrews walked out from the kitchen.

“Well,” he answered, wiping his hands, “the first thing you DON’T do is shout it out loud enough to embarrass the customer, who might have been thinking of leaving you a tip.”

A boy and his mother stood in the dentist’s office, looking at a display case. “If I had to have false teeth, mother, I’d take that pair there,” said the small boy, pointing.

“Hush, Willie,” interrupted the mother quickly, “Haven’t I told you it’s bad manners to pick your teeth in public?”