Daily Joke: Jokes Library

The frugal man walked into the house panting and almost completely exhausted. “What happened, Honey?” asked his wife.

“It’s a great new idea I have,” he gasped. “I ran all the way home behind the bus and saved $1.50 cents.”

“That wasn’t too smart,” replied his wife. “Why didn’t you run behind a taxi and save ten dollars?”

A little boy was doing his geography homework one evening and turned to his father and said, “Dad, where would I find the Andes?

“Don’t ask me,” said the father. “Ask your mother. She puts everything away in this house.”

A teacher said to her student, “Billy, if both of your parents were born in 1967, how old are they now?”

After a few moments, Billy answered, “It depends.”

“It depends on what?” she asked.

“It depends on whether you ask my father or my mother.”

A man was the first to arrive at work one morning. The phone rang and he answered. When the caller asked for some specific information, the man explained that it was before normal business hours but that he would help if he could.

“What’s your job there?” the caller asked.

The man replied, “I’m the company president.”

There was a pause. Then the caller said, “I’ll call back later. I need to talk to someone who knows something about what’s going on.”

A man entered a diner and ordered a large bowl of soup. A big horse fly then flew into the bowl. The startled man saw the fly, then retorted to the waiter. “Look at this bowl, what do you see? A horse fly right? What is it doing in my soup?”

The waiter, not sure how to reply, said, “I’m not sure, but it looks like the backstroke to me.”