Daily Joke: Jokes Library

In search of a Christmas tree, two blondes ventured deep into the forest.

After hours of braving sub-zero temperatures and biting wind, one blonde turned to the other and wearily said: “I’m chopping down the next tree I see, I don’t care if it’s decorated or not.”

Frosty the snowman was spotted looking through the carrot bin at the local supermarket…

He was picking his nose.

On the way to lunch, a teacher spotted two boys playfully fighting. She asked one of the boys to go to the back of the line and he came back right after.

”Why aren’t you at the end of the line?” asked the teacher.

The boy replied, “I couldn’t, someone was already there.”

On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a race horse with him to add to the starting line-up. The coach asks, “What did you bring that horse here for?”

The scout replies, “Wait until you see him bat.”

All the players are laughing, until the horse comes to bat. At this point, the horse grabs the bat, and everyone quiets down. They stare at the horse. The pitcher, just shrugs his shoulders, and throws the ball toward home plate when astonishingly the horse hits the ball deep in the outfield.

The horse just stands there and does not move. The manager then yells at the baseball scout to tell the horse to run to first base. The scout looks back at the manager and yells back, “If he could run, he’d be at Belmont!”

Man walks into the barbershop, sits down in the chair and the barber asks, “How do you want your haircut?”

The man says, ” I would like the sideburns one high and one low, a few long hairs sticking out of the back and a few chunks on the side and top.”

The barber looks puzzled and says, “I’m not sure I can do that.”

The customer says, “Why not, you did it that way last time.”