Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Three nuns passed every day through a street that led them from Church to a Reformatory.

They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a big residential house.

Every time they passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounce three sequential colors.

One day, they heard, “Yellow, blue, black.”

One of the nuns noticed that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their underwear.

She mentioned her discovery to the other two nuns, but both were reluctant to believe that could be possible.

The next day, they all wore black underwear and passed in front of the house, and very precisely the parrot spoke, “Black, black, black.”

Hearing that, the three nuns were astonished.

One of the nuns spoke up, “Girls, tomorrow we are going to trick that bird.”

After saying that, she recommended that the next day, none of them should be wearing any underwear under their vestments.

Respecting their agreement, the next day they wore no underwear, and proceeded to pass in front of the parrot’s house.

They peeked at the bird.

At the beginning, the parrot looked a bit puzzled. He swung back and forth on the cane he was perched on.

Then, after a while, the Parrot spoke, “Straight, Straight, Curly!”

A couple in the backyard. The wife bends over to pick something up.

Her husband looking at her behind says: “wow, your ass is bigger than the bbq!”

She gets upset and says; “no, it’s not.”

A bit arguing and he gets a tape measure.

He measures the bbq and her butt and…

Sure enough, her but is bigger than the bbq.

Silently she disappears into the house…that night – both in bed.

He moves toward her and wants to have some fun.

She says, “Do you think I’m going to fire up that big bbq for one little wiener???”

It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

It’s important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.

It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

It’s very, very important that these four women don’t know each other.

An elderly woman went to the doctor complaining of recent intestinal problems.

“Doctor I have terrible gas lately, but it doesn’t smell or make noise.”

The doctor prescribed some pills and told the elderly woman to return in two weeks.

After two weeks the woman returned to the doctor saying, “Doctor, I don’t know what were in those pills, but now my gas smells terrible!”

The doctor said, “I see we have cleared up your sinuses. Now let’s work on your hearing.”

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink, as the man is sucking down the drink he looks over and notices a dog licking his nuts.

The man thought nothing of it and orders another drink.

Time goes by and the man notices the dog still licking his balls.

So the man looks at the bartender and says, “Man, I wish I could do that” so the bartender looks at the man and says, “go ahead he does not bite!”