Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Dad: Who do you like more, Mum or Dad?

Little Johnny: BOTH

Dad: Ok if i go to America and your mum goes to Paris, where will you go.

Little Johnny: Paris…

Dad: That means you like your mum more?

Little Johnny: No, that means i like Paris

Dad: Ok if i go to Paris and your mum goes to America ,where will you go?

Little Johnny: America!

Dad: (Angry) Why! ?

Little Johnny: Well, coz l’ve been to Paris before!

Dad: (Angry) when did you go to Paris??

Little Johnny: In the first question you asked

A small farm boy named Little Johnny was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging toward him.

As horrified workers nearby watched, Little Johnny calmly continued his milking.

To everyone’s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from Little Johnny, turned around and walked away.

‘Weren’t you afraid?’ one of the workers asked Johnny.

‘Not at all,’ the Little Johnny replied,

‘ I knew this cow was his mother-in-law.’

One day there was a woman who lost her cat named “LOVE.”

It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York.

So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house coat and went looking for him.

When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing,

They arrested her on the spot.

As she said very honestly,

“She was looking for LOVE.”

Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single.

One day a friend asked,

“Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?”

Thomas replied,

“Actually, I’ve found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.”

His friend thinks for a moment and says,

“I’ve got the perfect solution, just find a girl who’s just like your mother.”

A few months later they meet again and his friend says,

“Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?”

With a frown on his face, Thomas answers,

“Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.”

The friend said, “Then what’s the problem?”

Thomas replied,

“My father doesn’t like her.”

There was this big city, high profile, big-ego attorney who was representing the railroad in a court case filed by an old rancher.

The rancher’s prize bull was missing and the old rancher claimed the noise of the train made him run off.

The bull that is.

The old rancher was suing for what he felt the bull was worth.

When they all got to the courthouse the railroad attorney tried to strike up a deal with the old rancher before they went in.

He was pretty slick so the old rancher agreed to settle for half of what he was seeking.

After the release was signed the big time lawyer laughed and told the old rancher,

“Well, I sure put one over on you! I never could’ve won this case! The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through. I didn’t have a single witness to put on the stand! I was bluffing you!”

The old rancher yawned and said,

“Well I’ll tell you, Slick. I was worrying about losing the case myself. That old bull came home this morning.”