Daily Joke: Jokes Library

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island, who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.

“Who is that man and why is he so upset?” a passenger asks the captain.

“I’ve no idea, but every year when we pass by, he goes nuts.”

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.

The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.

The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the corner people.”

A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, “Let’s get off that corner… NOW!”

Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.

Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, “Well, how did I do?”

Pretty good,” chuckled the vet, “especially since this is a bus stop.”

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.

“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.

“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.

“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”

A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.

‘We need a fourth for poker,’ said the friend.

‘I’ll be right over,’ whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, ‘Is it serious?’

‘Oh yes, quite serious,’ said the doctor gravely. ‘In fact, there are three doctors there already!’

I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a damn motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, “Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?”

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket, so I called him a pencil-necked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires! So I called him a piece of horsecrap.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 5 minutes – the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

But I didn’t care. My car was parked around the corner.