Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A professor travels to Africa to live with a primitive tribe and spends years with them, teaching them all about the wonders of science and mathematics.

He makes friends with the tribes Chief’s and his wife and they all live happily for some time. One day, the Chief’s wife gives birth to… a white child!

The word spreads and the entire tribe is in shock. The chief pulls the professor aside and says, “Look, you’re the only white man we’ve ever seen around here, and my wife just gave birth to a white child.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened!”

The professor replied, “No, Chief. You’re mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino!

Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion.”

The chief was silent for a moment, then said, “Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about that sheep and I won’t say anything more about that white child.”

A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and decided that he needed a career change.

He’d always enjoyed tinkering with engines so thought he’d become a mechanic.

So he went along to mechanics school and the final test was to strip the engine completely and reassemble it – obviously back into perfect working order.

So our gynecologist friend did the test and anxiously awaited the result.

The day he received the results he got quite a surprise, he got 150%!

He quickly phoned the instructor and queried the mark.

The instructor said: “no, no that’s right.

Fay Chester was a busy housewife with a demanding husband, six children and a large house.

The only relief she got from her chores was the twice-a-week bridge game she shared with a dozen other women.

The only flaw in the bridge club relationship was that Fay loved to tell off-color stories and the girls didn’t want to hear them.

To teach Fay a lesson, the other women decided that the next time she told an off-color story, they’d just get up, walk out, meet at another home but without Fay.

Sure enough, at the next meeting, Fay started, “You know, girls, there’s a rumor going around that a busload of prostitutes will be leaving in the morning for that big gold find up in Alaska, and they say….”

Just then, the women all stood up and started for the door.

Fay was disconcerted but only for a moment, then she understood what was going on and said, “Hey! Girls! Hold on, hold on! There’s plenty of time ’cause the bus doesn’t leave till morning!”

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma on the wall, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class, some 30-odd years ago

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Northmont high school.

“Yes. Yes, I did. I’m a thunderbolt,” he said gleaming with pride.

“When did you graduate?” I asked.

He answered, “in 1975. Why do you ask?”

“You were in my class!”, I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely, then, the ugly, old, bald, wrinkle-faced, fat, gray-haired, decrepit fool asked, “What did you teach?”

I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get so stressed that little things seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it – he was a dwarf!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’

So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’