Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A couple in the backyard. The wife bends over to pick something up.

Her husband looking at her behind says: “wow, your ass is bigger than the bbq!”

She gets upset and says; “no, it’s not.”

A bit arguing and he gets a tape measure.

He measures the bbq and her butt and…

Sure enough, her but is bigger than the bbq.

Silently she disappears into the house…that night – both in bed.

He moves toward her and wants to have some fun.

She says, “Do you think I’m going to fire up that big bbq for one little wiener???”

It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

It’s important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.

It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

It’s very, very important that these four women don’t know each other.

An elderly woman went to the doctor complaining of recent intestinal problems.

“Doctor I have terrible gas lately, but it doesn’t smell or make noise.”

The doctor prescribed some pills and told the elderly woman to return in two weeks.

After two weeks the woman returned to the doctor saying, “Doctor, I don’t know what were in those pills, but now my gas smells terrible!”

The doctor said, “I see we have cleared up your sinuses. Now let’s work on your hearing.”

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink, as the man is sucking down the drink he looks over and notices a dog licking his nuts.

The man thought nothing of it and orders another drink.

Time goes by and the man notices the dog still licking his balls.

So the man looks at the bartender and says, “Man, I wish I could do that” so the bartender looks at the man and says, “go ahead he does not bite!”

Little Sally asked her dad if she could take her dog Fluffy far a walk around the block, he told her no because Fluffy was in heat.

Little Sally says what does in heat mean?

Without any explanation her dad took a rag with gas on it and wiped the dog’s rear end with it and told her to go around the block and come back straight home.

When she returned she was alone. Her dad asks; where is Fluffy?

Little Sally says, Fluffy ran out of gas a few blocks back and another dog is pushing her home.